Hey guys.
I honestly feel a little bit weird posting right now, because I've felt really insecure the past couple of days. But I guess if I'm going to post in the good times, I have to post in the bad ones too. During this process, I'm realizing just how often I second guess myself. Usually I focus on second guessing the way I look, but lately I've realized that I am not confident about anything that I do. Whenever I meet someone, I automatically assume that they don't like me. After a conversation, I always think later that I said too much and got on the other persons nerves or that they think I am stupid. Why do I do this? Why do I want to be liked so bad? I honestly don't know. It bothers me that I let other peoples opinions effect me so much.
Wow, this post is sounding so depressing. I'm not trying to be all woe-is-me, I just feel the need to be transparent. This whole journey is bringing back a lot of memories that I have been trying to suppress, things that I want to pretend never even happened. But if I do that, then what good are they? God had me go through those things for a reason, and it's my job to find out why. Please pray for me, I don't want to be discouraged.
Sorry if this post sucks :) Haha, there I go again!
I often feel the same way after I have a convo with a person. For me it comes from not resting my security in Christ and being pleasing to Him. It doesn't matter if I am pleasing to others as long as I am in fellowship with Him. Why is it so hard to grasp!?
ReplyDeleteJust remember we love you and are praying for you. You are a great person so just be you!
ReplyDeleteI'm the same way. I worry what the other person thinks of me, and often assume they don't like me, or think 'what I just said was so stupid'. It's hard for me to remember that it really doesn't matter what they think of me, as long as I'm honoring to God. :)
ReplyDeleteEliza S